Pink Memoirs

Someone very close to me died in my dreams early this morning.

Yes, it was just a dream but it was so vivid that I heard myself talking and asking for my mobile phone because I am going to call my hubby because the one who died in my dreams is my little boy. I was crying hard that my hubby woke me up and I was still in tears for about 20 minutes. It was such a horrible and heart-breaking sight for me that even until this writing, I am still thinking of that bad dream.

I remember my school boy was in his class and that after an activity, he did not go back to the classroom and everyone was already there. That’s when I started worrying and then I took a flashlight and headed out to the door and there I saw a lot of people. Then a friend of mine saw me and said that a little boy died and she could not figure out who it was. That was when my heart raced and then I started crying, then I ran to the other door and when I glanced to my left, that’s when I saw my lifeless little boy being carried away by men in construction outfits. I was crying and wailing and I knew that it was just a dream because hubby heard me and was waking me up. What made me worry more was that my little boy was wearing his younger brother’s shirt. It was really really terrible.

When I was calm at about 3:45 am, I went to my baby’s room and slept with him. But unfortunately sleep did not visit me back til it was almost 5 am. Every time I close my eyes, I see my lifeless little boy. The dream was not over yet that when I dozed off, I dreamed of the school where the accident happened, it was abandoned and that there were ghosts of little school girls playing in my son’s classroom. It was really a nightmare.

I hope it will not happen to me again. I can imagine the grief I will experience and go through if it was true. After that dream, I felt like my world had crashed down on me. It made me realize too how lovely my boys are and that I should cherish them more everyday.

When the morning sun came, I made sure that my boys were okay and I am glad that they were. I took deep breaths knowing that it was just a dream. I really do hope that kind of dream won’t visit me again. I guess I will have to stop thinking about the inevitable for the meantime.